Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I have a doctor's appointment today that can and will be life altering, hopefully. I cannot continue to go on this way in my life. The depression is off the charts and the med's are immense. I am on every type of medication available for DEPRESSION, TOURETTES, ADHD, and even things I have not yet been diagnosed with. You would think that I would be happy by now. I hate complaining and I am not in any way shape or form looking or seeking for your sympathy. I hate sympathy. I think it is pathetic. Especially when there are so many others out there in dyer straights. I know that there is hope for me. I feel so blah. I can't even think forward. I don't have a creative bone in my body and everything I attempt to create, fails miserably. I lost that UMP. I am sad that I feel so sad, I am unsure why. If I could just get my finger on where all this is going maybe I could appreciate the reasons for this stage in my life. I have every reason to feel blessed. The blessed list outweighs the doom feeling I have yet here I am feeling like a lost soul in a sea of total confusion. I will find my way, I always do. I think this is the first time I have ever actually blogged about my depression so candidly. I will see how things go today. My appointment is at 2:00 with my GP. I love her and know she is on track with the who, what, and why, I am who I am. Fixing it is just not that easy. Till then. Fingers crossed and tears held back until I open my mouth at my doctors office.
Posted by STRJKTKNITTING at 12:37 PM